Life with Judah, it's a musical
We are in the final moments of July as I type this message to you. You turned 3 on the 2nd of this month & I am still in shock at how fast time flies.
The last year has had some tremendous highs and some painful lows. We've been through a lot together. I learned to ignore the milestone emails a while back. They just served as a painful reminder of how far "behind" we were. But as I discovered the joy of celebrating each new thing you do / say; I understood what it meant to live in the moment. To truly savour each day. Your smile is often the first thing I am greeted with each morning - as you've usually climbed out of your cot and made your way into our bed. You grip my neck so that when I make a move, it serves as your alarm clock & you just grin at me. Then sometimes you indulge me spontaneously with a song. Yesterday it was Chris Tomlins "Good, Good Father". You sang it in your beautiful inimitable way.
"You're a good good father, it's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are;
And I'm loved by you,
That's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am"
My heart melted. You smiled and sang away, "It's who I am!", and I thought "Yes! That's who you are! A God-loved boy!"
Because sometimes when we spend so much time asking "but why?", we seem to think that because the situation isn't perfect, we've been given "seconds" and not Gods best.
But perfect you are. You are perfect for me. I've learnt patience by you. I've learnt to be kinder to myself and others. I've learnt to be slower. I've learnt to appreciate the little things because they really are the big things.
I love watching you in your favourite place - the outdoors. You're an intrepid explorer so I've nicknamed you Bear Grylls. You could happily live outdoors. You're happiest sitting in the grass singing, or lying in the trampoline singing, or walking amongst the plants - singing.
When we awake, and you beam at me, my world is complete. I never knew a love like that existed. The joy I see in your face when you see me, makes me feel like the only mum in the world.
So we'll sing through our days and dance through the storms.
I love you so much Judah. You are perfect in every way, and I have no doubt in my mind that you will live up to your name: Iyanu ~ a wonder. God's wonder.