I could lie....
I could make out that I did everything I set out to do every single day and came out on top. You'd all think "Wow, she's superwoman!". But I'd know. I'd know that in reality, after a week of waking up at 5, doing the things I do normally (that usually run me down), managing the home, school runs etc - I was exhausted beyond belief. I was still excited, but I was exhausted. Then Judah caught a bug. That dealt with the second week. Then I got ill & that dealt with the 3rd week. By the 4th week, I couldn't even remember if I was coming or going. I felt a deep sense of disappointment with myself. I felt I had failed. I had let myself down & would possibly never achieve anything in life if I couldn't even achieve this task. Woe is me, wah wah wah!
But after a few days of wallowing in self pity, eating lots of chocolate & crisps, no exercise and 6:30am wake up's initiated by Morayo-Hope; I decided to assess my challenge. Was all really lost? Not really. Because in reality I had actually learned some things about myself that I probably wouldn't have learned had I not even tried.
1. I liked the challenge - it gave me focus, determination & something to look forward to everyday - well, for that week at least.
2. I set unrealistic goals for myself. Once I've decided things have to change, it becomes a demolition derby up in here! I do it with housework. I do it with my hair. I need to slow down & accept that it's a journey, not a race. I didn't get here overnight & it'll take time to change some things. And that's ok.
3. I function well when there is structure. Planning this challenge forced me to set a daily routine which was good to stick with.
4. Social Media / TV / The phone = all enemies of my progress!! When I wrote out my daily routine, I realised how little free time I actually have. I found that after fitting in kids stuff / school runs / cooking / cleaning etc, I actually only have 2 hours to myself - at a serious squeeze. So really I don't have time to be chatting to everyone on the phone & keeping up with facebook / twitter / instagram and expecting to be a serious mum boss.
5. I love breaking my own rules. And I am the only one who suffers for it. There was me running away from the voice inside my head telling me to get to that gym i'm paying for. Ultimately, nobody was chasing me, because nobody cares. Nobody cares if i making nothing out of my life, because they are all too busy trying to make something of their own lives.
So what next?
With these take aways, I decided to start afresh. November is a new month - with 30 days. I will start again tomorrow with a slightly less OTT list and pace myself. Discipline is the key to success & I am more convinced of it than ever.