There is so much irony for me writing those words. Firstly, we have reached that awkward stage of the year when it is rather odd to be using "happy new year" as a greeting. Secondly, this year has been anything but happy so far. Don't get me wrong, nobody's died. And in all honesty for some, we really haven't had that tough a time. One thing I've come to realise though is that we all have our levels of challenge, and that just because mine may not be as bad as yours does not mean it isn't difficult for me.
We came back from Nigeria and celebrated Christmas again - by which I mean we gave little Morayo-Hope a chance to open her gifts so we could take pictures and let her have something to take into nursery. On that day, just after opening her new little trike she went and bent over on the couch quietly. She was hot to the touch and we knew something was up. Long story short she had a blood test and was admitted to hospital with typhoid. Then ensued almost a week in hospital of iv drugs & us doing shift visits to the hospital: daddy sleeping there, mummy & judah spending the day. It was exhausting both physically & emotionally. After discharge she still had to go in for daily injections and until she was finally discharged.
We spent a few more weeks with no nursery as she had to be given the full all-clear before going back. Just as we were gearing up for that to be done, a flu virus decided now was a good time to come and camp in la casa Sotinwa. Next thing I was in an ambulance with baby Judah whose temp had shot up leading to a seizure and the most petrifying 5 minutes of my life. He was discharged after a days observation & I finally cried that day.
It's been hard to put up posts that don't scream "Woe is me! Ah me, ah me!". At the same time, I didn't want to put up posts that made it look like I'm just coasting on by, got it all together, Stepford wife style. I so haven't. So I just didn't. In this age of facebook/blogging/instagram, our perfect images can leave others feeling inadequate and wondering what they are doing wrong.
Bottom line is there are seasons to life & in this season it's just not been possible to be all that I wanted to be. So I decided to try and focus on being the best mum & wife I could be. That meant ignoring the running commentary in my head and doing my best to be present. I believe the worst is over and the best is yet to come. I have missed writing and can't wait to fill you in on the rainbow moments that have borne me through this stormy season! Life is beautiful!
I truly wish you a happy, healthy & prosperous year. May God , who has kept me sane, give you reason to laugh in 2014.