Could it be Twins?!
we might have a problem on our hands. especially if what i suspect is found to be true. i have been observing the growth of mummy's bump closely to ensure this person does not arrive a minute sooner than promised. now, being one who was once on the inside i have an idea of what this bump should look like at each stage. a week ago i suddenly realised that something was wrong. i watched as mummy excitedly opened her package from asos - a new pair of maternity jeans. i then watched as she tried to squeeze herself into them. by 'herself' i mean her behind. it has grown at practically the same rate as the bump. the two zipper sides struggled to meet in the middle as mummy declared "there's something wrong with these jeans!"
errr...look behind you mother...
it was then it hit me. there's another baby growing in her behind! i don't think she realizes but i worry there is trouble ahead. she actually declared yesterday that she's scared to stand still these days lest a bird should think her behind is a landing perch. why hasn't she cottoned on? that is the only logical explanation - it's just not normal for her to be protruding both front and back to that extent. sigh. daddy doesn't call me inspector clouseau for nothing. well, i now need to start planning how to now deal with potentially 2 new people. hmm..the one in the behind will be my minion for sure!
on another note mummy definitely wont be needing these booty enhancers that one of my aunts spotted in Primark yesterday:
coat - baby gap
tights - baby gap
shoes - clarks
top - cos (old)
jeans - asos
shoes - kurt geiger (old)
jacket - zara (old)